Sell [Your] Phones

Sell [Your] Phones

 

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn’t help but think that maybe she was talking to someone across the street because she wasn’t allowed to cross it. Whatever the reason, though, there is something about an 11-year-old on a cell phone that legitimately scares me, and it has https://sellup.com.sg/ nothing to do with the fact that she is probably getting more calls than I am…

I always (for the past five minutes) thought it would be interesting if the transmissions from cell phones could be visible, so that I could look out the window right now and see all the words that are being passed from one phone to another. Another added plus of the words being visible is that I could reach into the air and take away the ones that I don’t like, therefore completely changing people’s conversations. With me controlling the airwaves, people would never use cell phones again, and we would no longer have to worry about walking down the street and being hit with a “hello,” or a “goodbye,” or a “he needs to stop messing with my mother’s wounded llama,” the latter of which would be a sentence that I formed based on stealing certain key words from zookeepers’ conversations…

I always wondered — as has everyone — what it is like when two zookeepers got together. Do they act like party animals? Maybe go ape? If two zookeepers are reading this column simultaneously, I think an e-mail is in order. But I will only read this correspondence if both zookeepers have equal say in the wording…